


Inescapable

by YumeArashi



Category: The Avengers (2012)
Genre: Alternate Canon, Character Study, Gen, Introspection
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-03-14
Updated: 2013-03-14
Packaged: 2017-12-05 07:02:36
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 621
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/720198
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/YumeArashi/pseuds/YumeArashi
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Bruce and Loki, and what it means to be a monster.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Inescapable

It wasn't hard to notice the way that Loki watched Dr. Banner contemplatively whenever he encountered the Avengers.  But he said nothing and did nothing towards the scientist, and so the others only watched him in turn, warily, and waited.

One afternoon Loki appeared in Bruce's lab, never mind that this sort of thing was supposed to be impossible.  He sat beside the scientist and looked at his work, elegant hands drawing illusions of DNA in the air and combining them with various ghostly proteins in idle curiosity.

"A useful trick," Bruce observed cautiously, watching as the proteins activated or left quiescent the traits of humanity.  Loki was whimsical, chasing his own often-unfathomable ends, and perhaps this didn't need to get messy.

Loki shrugged.  He said nothing for a long time, before observing absently, "Your monster seems content."

Dark eyes narrowed.  So that was what this was about.  "I suppose."

A double helix unzipped, reforming into a different configuration.  "You were not always this way."

"No.  I was born as a normal human."  He saw little point in denying it; it was unsettling how much the trickster already knew about them.

"A difficult adjustment to make, to be sure."  DNA to rNA and back, the words as careless as if the conversation barely held Loki's attention.  The deliberate nonchalance made Bruce wonder.  Loki clearly wasn't baiting him, so why was he bringing this up?  Why was he even here?

"Of course.  It is an ugly discovery to wake to.  Especially when other people would use you for what you are."  There.  The minutest flinch, barely a flicker of dark eyelashes, but it was there.  Who had wanted to use Loki?  And why did that bother him? 

"Yet you seem to have adjusted remarkably well."

Bruce shrugged.  "You can run from the people who want you, but you can't run from yourself.  Not forever.  You learn to live with it because there's nothing else you _can_ do."

Loki frowned, as if he hadn't liked the answer.  Was it possible, Bruce wondered, that Loki was pursuing this because he genuinely wanted to know?  Because there was some inner demon - figurative or literal – with which the trickster was struggling? 

"And yet you are the only one who accepts yourself.  Even your supposed teammates - hardly normal themselves – tread so very carefully when you are near, fearful of waking the beast.  They do not see you, only the monster within."

Bruce hid a grimace as the remark hit home.  "Yes," he admitted frankly.  "And that is as difficult as being unable to accept myself was.  But this will also pass.  As you say, in one way or another we're all monsters.  Familiarity doesn’t breed contempt, it produces understanding and acceptance.  In time, they'll see past the monster.  There are some who already do," he added, thinking of Tony's cheerfully reckless attitude with him.

"Some who claim to, perhaps," Loki shrugged casually.  "But words of acceptance mean nothing when those who speak them still view you as an abomination."

"Perhaps," Bruce set down his work and fully turned towards Loki.  Now that he knew to look for it, the anger in Loki's voice was too personal, too hurt, to be about Bruce.  Taking a calculated risk, he added bluntly, "But given that Thor can forgive what you've done, I think he can forgive what you are."

The god of lies went very still, his expression shuttering.  For just an instant, the trickster's appearance seemed to waver, hinting at blood-red eyes and blue skin marked with indecipherable patterns.  It was gone as suddenly as it had appeared, leaving Loki's apparent humanity firmly in place.  "I would not be so sure," he said very softly, and was suddenly gone.


End file.
